From the "Teens Know Too Much" File...

 Today I read a disturbing article:

Don't get me wrong, I SUPPORT EDUCATION.  But I feel teens really shouldn't be helping stab more victims, much less being taught how to do it. At least they're only helping stab the victims, they're not the main stabbers?

This quote particularly gives me the willies:

In an ideal world, training like this wouldn't be needed. 

You're exactly right, "St. John Ambulance" (if that's even your real name!).  Teens do not need to learn how to help stab.  

Is Kentucky Fried Chicken Cursed? Here Comes the Science

Hot out of the fryer: literally front-page news this week in the New York Times: 

So apparently, many Thai doctors believe that eating chicken from KFC at work will lead to intolerably busy shifts.  You're thinking, "Sure, that makes total sense."  But where is the science that quantifies the increase in work?  We will need some peer-reviewed published-in-a-real-journal data - perhaps a three-arm randomized controlled trial please.

SPOILER ALERT - The data is in! 

The study, which was published earlier this year in the Annals of Surgery Open, a medical journal based in Philadelphia, found that eating KFC does not, in fact, lead to more work. 

For the budding scientists who enjoy reading original sources, here's the study in the Annals of Surgery Open.  The bold physician who took the time to do the study was Dr. Thanat Tantinam, whom I respect extra since he obviously wasn't so overburdened at work (having eaten chicken, or not) that he couldn't run this study. 

Some of the juicy(?) details from the study:  

Between 2023 and 2024, he and several co-workers at Phatthalung Hospital in southern Thailand, his employer at the time, conducted a randomized control trial of 345 surgical shifts, comparing metrics like case load or estimated blood loss in patients from three groups of surgeons: a group that ate KFC, another that got food from a local brand named Five Star Chicken, and one that ate nothing.

Apparently, in a survey before the study was run, Dr. Tantinam (et al.) ran a cross-sectional pilot survey of 38 surgeons from 18 hospitals across Thailand. Overall, 20 respondents (52.6%) believed that food affected their duty workload; among these believers, 12 (60.0%) named KFC specifically(!)

Frankly, this story makes me really nervous about having my next medical procedure done in Thailand.  The article has all kinds of interesting information, like KFC franchises around hospitals do worse business. And in November 2024, the company launched a marketing campaign in stores near hospitals, rebranding their packaging to read “This is not KFC” in an attempt to provide a “cleansing ritual” for superstitious staff. 

Again, I would prefer my surgery with a bit less superstition built in.

Drop Dr. Tantinam a note to congratulate him if you are not over-burdened with work yourself. One last point: if we at News That Vexes were a cynical lot, we might suspect KFC is somehow behind this study. I'm waiting for the advertisements saying: "Eating at KFC will NOT increase your workload!", or should we say: "การกิน KFC จะ**ไม่**ทำให้ภาระงานของคุณเพิ่มขึ้น!"

Important Candy Research!

Here at News That Vexes, we enjoy candy.  Why?  Because we're human.  We're not AI - yet - though we suspect some of our readers may be.

So of course the burning question I'm sure we've all wondered is, "Should we eat all the candy?  Or save some for later?"  Yes, thinking about THIS is the reason you've been kept up at night your whole life - and especially the days after Easter and Halloween... (hey, that's now!)

At last, highly paid, greatly respected researchers have finally tackled this burning issue. Check out this article - no paywall - Candy: Is it healthier to eat it all at once or to enjoy it slowly for weeks? 

Though the whole article is Vex-maxxing, (We're hip to the kids' lingo), this is probably my favorite line in the article, since it appears the "scientist" seems to be trolling themself!  Perhaps it's a ploy to be nominated for an IgNobel prize next year?  

Unsurprisingly, scientists haven’t studied this question directly, said Nicola Guess, a dietitian and metabolic health researcher at the University of Oxford, so “it’s a real conundrum.”

Frankly, I'm too dumb to understand if Dr. Guess is serious or not.  Like when she says, "Unsurprisingly, scientists haven't studied this question directly", is she [correctly] implying this question is too trivial to even ask?  Basically, Dr. Guess says cronching candy can lead you down a perilous path:

The main risk of having small, daily doses of candy is that it could turn into a habit that ratchets up your added sugar and calorie consumption, Dr. Guess said.

Candy is the new meth I suppose.   In the other corner of this hard-hitting debate is UC Davis professor Dr. Kimber Stanhope:

Some people might prefer to eat more of their haul at once, ... That’s asking your body to handle more sugar than it’s really built for, said Kimber Stanhope, a research nutritional biologist at the University of California, Davis.

YOU DON'T SAY.  For some bonkers reason our research has shown that Dr. Kimber Stanhope is actually from the school of veterinary medicine at UC Davis.  Here's a tip Dr. Stanhope: don't feed chocolate to dogs, no matter what hard-hitting research you're pursuing.

Extreme shocker: the worst thing would be to eat ALL your candy EVERY DAY!  In other words, the worst of both worlds (or would it be the best?)

The greatest concern would be consuming something like five ounces of candy on a daily basis for a couple of weeks, Dr. Stanhope said.

Feel free to congratulate Dr. Guess and Dr. Stanhope for making it into the annals of News That Vexes. And send all your candy to us here at the N.T.V. news desk. It's for your own good.