News that Vexes: A refreshing change - good news! And of course it's about cheese!

News that Vexes

It's so tiresome to read 'new studies' that reveal Smoking, Stress or Obesity are Bad for you. Yet these studies appear all the time. It's time to take back the newswire from so-called Scientists!

Friday, March 15, 2019

A refreshing change - good news! And of course it's about cheese!

Among our millions of readers are many eagle-eyed news trackers who are constantly on the lookout for influential news stories for News That Vexes.  Though Smoking is still Bad and Exercise is still Good, you may want to be more discerning in your future cheese purchases.  Specifically, what music was your cheese exposed to while it was aged?

In some hard-hitting new research, it seems that cheese exposed to hip-hop tastes better.  Not that the cows were exposed to hip-hop, but rather the bacteria in the cheese prefers hip-hop.  

Some of you might think this research is insane. Far from it - this research was done by veterinarian (Wait, did you say veterinarian?  Yes, we did) BEAT WAMPFLER.  Sadly his email address isn't available at press time, so congratulatory emails aren't possible at the moment.  Luckily, the 'scientific support' for the experiment was provided by Dr. Michael Harenberg - who also provided this unintentionally hilarious quote:

"We were overwhelmed," says Professor Michael Harenberg who provided the scientific support for the experiment. "At first I thought it was a typical Swiss reaction because cheese plays such a big cultural role here in Emmental. But even journalists from South Africa approached us for interviews and information."

Some possibly bad news for Dr. Harenberg - journalists don't want to talk to you because of your cheese, they want to know if you actually have coherent thoughts and can speak in complete sentences.

Thanks and a tip of the hat to our legions of readers who submitted this important news story.


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