Actual news story: "Study finds shouting may stop gulls stealing food"

 Today's news story is so mind-blowing that I wasn't sure it was real.  But yes, dear reader, it IS.  

Study finds shouting may stop gulls stealing food

[Researchers] played either a recording of a male voice shouting the words "no, stay away, that's my food", the same voice speaking those words or the birdsong of a robin.

They tested a total of 61 gulls across nine seaside towns in Cornwall and found nearly half of those exposed to the shouting voice flew away within a minute. In contrast, 70% of gulls exposed to the robin song stayed near the food for the duration of the experiment.

So if I understand this correctly, yelling at birds makes them go away?  This is important new information for those of us who enjoy eating french fries outdoors, which, let's face it, is everyone.

This amazing research is brought to you by "scientist" Dr Neeltje Boogert.  Click the link to thank her and congratulate her on making it into News That Vexes.