Actual news story: "Study finds shouting may stop gulls stealing food"

 Today's news story is so mind-blowing that I wasn't sure it was real.  But yes, dear reader, it IS.  

Study finds shouting may stop gulls stealing food

[Researchers] played either a recording of a male voice shouting the words "no, stay away, that's my food", the same voice speaking those words or the birdsong of a robin.

They tested a total of 61 gulls across nine seaside towns in Cornwall and found nearly half of those exposed to the shouting voice flew away within a minute. In contrast, 70% of gulls exposed to the robin song stayed near the food for the duration of the experiment.

So if I understand this correctly, yelling at birds makes them go away?  This is important new information for those of us who enjoy eating french fries outdoors, which, let's face it, is everyone.

This amazing research is brought to you by "scientist" Dr Neeltje Boogert.  Click the link to thank her and congratulate her on making it into News That Vexes.

Truly a Miracle: Plant-Based Rice!

 One of our astute readers sent us this.  But wait!  Wouldn't MEAT-BASED Rice be even more Keto and Paleo friendly??

If this Warming Continues, There will be Less Snow - Did you ever think about that?

 A new depressing story from our friends at New Scientist - who report the dumb research, but aren't to blame for the dumb research.  In the January 11, 2025 issue, they report on this shocking result:

Oh lordy - hold on to your anorak:

Elizabeth Burakowski at the University of New Hampshire and her colleagues used a climate model to project how snow cover would change across the continental US under a worst-case emissions scenario leading to global warming of around 3.6°C by 2100.

They found that the number days each year with at least some snow on the ground will decline across much of the country. Areas like New England will still get snow, but “more ephemeral, come-and-go snow”, says Burakowski, who presented the work at the American Geophysical Union meeting in Washington DC last month.

I suspect Dr. Burakowski enjoyed their free trip to Washington D.C. to present this stunning result, and maybe got to take in a Washington Capitals game?  (Enjoy before even their ice rink melts!)

Drop Dr. Burakowski a congratulatory email here: Elizabeth.Burakowski@unh.edu Congrats, Doctor! You made it in to News That Vexes!