News that Vexes

Perhaps only in the Philippines?

2011-11-03T09:34:00.000-07:00

It seems that if doctors tell their patients (or they see ads) to use formula instead of breastfeeding - new mothers are "6.4 times more likely to stop breast-feeding babies."

This blockbuster study was published in September, but the results were released only this week - probably because of how truly surprising and unexpected the results were?

Note it took SIX authors to create this study, though they don't publish the names of these genius doctors - longtime readers know we love to publish their names to tell them they've been published in News That Vexes.

All sarcasm aside, the study reports "Not breast-feeding also was associated with a 5.8 times increased risk of all-cause deaths in the first two months of life, with risks elevated up to the second year" We at News That Vexes strongly support breast-feeding.

Profanity on TV linked to foul-mouthed kids

2011-10-24T13:43:00.000-07:00

Aha! So finally we learn where those TV writers get all their filth from: CHILDREN!

From this headline it's clear that the more foul-mouthed our kids are, the more bad language we'll have to put up with in our TV shows and video games.

Well I for one am dang diddley fed up with it!

See for yourself here.

2011-03-09T18:42:00.000-08:00

New record set for number of Kinects sold. 10 million! That breaks the previous record of Kinects sold by, erm, uh...

2011-03-09T14:29:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 2011 - where a new study indicates you tend to make bad decisions when you're tired.

The authors suggest that changes in the brain chemical dopamine after sleep deprivation lead to altered decision-making behavior.

Wait, are you telling me that instead of thinking about an important decision, you're thinking, "Hey, I'm really tired." - or perhaps just nodding off?

Attention Gamblers! [who also read Journal of Neuroscience] - or who frequent News That Vexes: "The more tired you are -- even if propped up by medications, alcohol, coffee or bright lights and noise -- the less likely you are to carefully evaluate your risk of losing."

These unsurprising surprising results courtesy of Michael Chee, MD. Drop him a line to congratulate him!

2009-10-05T12:56:00.000-07:00

For less foot pain, pick sneakers over heels

This article is rich with data:
it's important to pay attention to the shoes that you're buying and make sure they fit
for women, wearing "good shoes" reduced the likelihood of having pain in the heel, ankle and lower Achilles tendon

Now let's not be too hard on the researcher, Alyssa Dufour - she's only a graduate student at Institute for Aging Research Hebrew SeniorLife in Boston- maybe drop her an email and congratulate her on her dubious debut on News that Vexes. May she have a long career here!

2008-03-10T15:16:00.000-07:00

If both parents have Alzheimer's, your risk soars

New research from UW! If both parents have a hereditary illness, there's increased risk their offspring will have it too.

One of the researchers humbly implies this is obvious old news:

"I think it confirms that there's a strong genetic component in the disease and that's not a surprise," said Dr. Thomas Bird, whose study was published in the Archives of Neurology.

Ya think? So what's next for Dr. Bird?

The researchers have been doing the study for about two decades and intend to continue for at least another decade.

OK Doc, we'll get back to you.

2008-01-13T12:45:00.000-08:00

Family dietary coach fuels healthy eating: study

Why do people do studies about topics as obvious as this? Perhaps to help 'diet coaches' feel worthwhile? I think a follow-up study on why diet coaches have low self-esteem might be in order.

The other idea is that these sorts of results are reported at fancy Club Med type resorts where committees meet, so this study gets the "scientist" a free trip to a posh vacation. That doesn't seem to be the case in this groundbreaking (?) study however.

Thus I'm at a loss about this study. One might even say I'm vexed. Here's the leadoff paragraph:

Having a nutrition coach actively coach families on how to make healthy changes in their diet appears to help parents and their children improve their nutritional intake, researchers found.

This result thanks to Damien Paineau, manager of scientific studies and coaching for Nutri-Health, in Rueil-Maimaison, France. Sadly I couldn't find M. Paineau's email for us to congratulate him on this 'breakthrough'.

2008-01-08T11:40:00.000-08:00

Regular physical activity helps teens avoid obesity

Participating in physical activities in and out of school more than two times a week protects adolescents from becoming overweight young adults, according to new research.

Hmmm... Thanks Dr. Blum at Johns Hopkins! Click his name to send him mail for his brainiac breakthrough. On the DUH! scale, this rates an 8.4.

2007-10-21T13:53:00.000-07:00

Curbing Calories Works in the Long Run

One of our alert worldwide News That Vexes correspondents (yes, only one of the many, many) alerted us to this most excellent and informative story that we find just a wee bit vexing.

It seems that

Old-fashioned calorie-cutting and exercise really can keep the pounds off for the long haul, according to a review of dozens of clinical trials.

In an analysis of 80 weight-loss studies, researchers found that approaches that focused on trimming calories -- with or without exercise -- were most effective at keeping the pounds off over four years.

Wuh- huh?? DOZENS of clinical trials? Where have I been?

We actually could quote almost every line of this article, since each sentence is a pure gem of wisdom and nugget of sublime sapience.

In some stunning further research, the scientists conclude by dropping this mega bombshell:

"However," they stress, "if weight-loss interventions are discontinued entirely, weight regain is likely to occur."

Feel free to congratulate Dr. Marion Franz, a registered dietitian and health consultant with Minneapolis-based Nutrition Concepts by Franz Inc. (what a coincidence! Dr. Franz works at "Nutrition Concepts by Franz"! Maybe that's a requirement to work there: "Last name must be Franz.")

2007-10-04T13:36:00.000-07:00

Flu Shots? What day is it?

Here at News That Vexes, we have long contemplated a special section with a two-column format where scientists can battle it out. Will a drink a day kill you - or will it make you live longer? As we all know, coffee is good, no wait - bad, wrong! good for you. When blogging software has an easy 2-column template for a lazy editor to use, you'll be the first to see it here.

As a case in point, just today we read two stories: Flu jab cuts illness and death in elderly and Flu vaccines may not save elderly lives: experts

In one corner:

In a study of relatively healthy elderly HMO members, getting a flu shot significantly reduced the odds of being hospitalized with an influenza-related ailment and of dying. "Our study confirms that influenza vaccination is beneficial for reducing hospitalization and death among community-dwelling HMO elderly over a 10-year period," lead author Dr. Kristin L. Nichol, from the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, told Reuters Health.

In the other,

Getting an annual flu vaccine may not save the lives of seniors, and health officials may want to look at other ways to protect the elderly, researchers said on Monday. No studies have conclusively proven that influenza shots prevent flu-related deaths in people over the age of 65, and some of the arguments that have been used to support this idea are based on faulty data, the researchers argue in the Lancet medical journal. [Translation: "In Your Face, Dr. Nichol!"]

I guess we should keep it simple and get the shot every other year.

2007-09-09T17:25:00.000-07:00

New Study Shows Humans Smarter than Apes

I find this story particularly puzzling (but hey it's good news! So I'm not complaining).

One juicy bit that seems odd:

Humans differ from the great apes because their brains are about triple the size of their closest primate cousins. Human brains have also developed language, symbolic math and scientific reasoning skills.

So what's the news? It's this:

This is the first study to compare the performance of toddlers and apes on cognitive and physical tests.

Also, at least they were thorough in their testing:

Researchers at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany studied 230 subjects, including 100 chimpanzees, 30 orangutans and 100 human children 2.5 years old.

As part of one of the social learning tasks, the researchers demonstrated how to pop open a plastic tube to retrieve the food or toy inside. The children watched and copied the researcher; the apes attempted to break the tube or pull it apart with their teeth.

Ha Ha! You dumb apes! In your face! This proves I'm smarter than you.

But don't feel too bad, apes. This research shows that you might be as smart as scientists in Leipzig.

2007-08-28T12:35:00.000-07:00

Heart Attacks at School Involve More Adults Than Kids

This sums it up:

After reviewing 16 years of emergency medical service calls in the Seattle area, researchers found that faculty and staff were 25 times more likely than students to suffer cardiac arrest, according to lead researcher Dr. Tom Rea [send him mail to congratulate him!], an associate professor of medicine at Harborview Medical Center and the University of Washington School of Medicine. "It is much more likely to occur in adults as opposed to students."

Rea was noncommittal about what should be done. "It is a loaded question," he said.

Next up for Dr. Rea? Arthritis research? Alzheimers? There's still lots of work to be done!

2007-08-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

Smoking Boosts Risk for Head, Neck Cancers

Stop the vexing news presses! Blowing cancerous smoke past your mouth, nose and throat significantly increases your risk of cancer of the mouth, nose and throat.

What should we do about it?!?!! Fortunately, the study's authors provide a solution:

In order to lower head and neck cancer rates, public health efforts should continue to try to eliminate smoking, the study authors said.

I wish the article listed the name of study's authors so we could all send them congratulatory email on this radical finding.

2007-04-30T14:55:00.000-07:00

P.E. Classes Turn to Video Game That Works Legs

Now there's nothing surprising or even vexing in that headline. Isn't 'working legs' the job of PE Classes? The video game in question is called Dance Dance Revolution - a game that you play by jumping up and down and executing complicated footwork in time with dance music.

Now, the beautiful part is that is that PE Classes have turned to video games because of some research from the esteemed Mayo Clinic. Apparently the super-scientists there have spent some serious time in their labs and come up with these astounding results:

In a study last year, researchers from the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., found that children playing Dance Dance Revolution expended significantly more
energy than children watching television and playing traditional video games.

In case this is too complicated, let me help you - dear reader - understand. Apparently jumping up and down like a madman uses more calories than sitting on the couch.

I'm not making this up when I say that Our Mayo friends (hold the mustard!) actually did further research and found that playing video games while running on a treadmill used more calories than sitting on a couch.

These guys probably use picnik.com to spice up their so-called scientific presentations. With its flexible photo editing ability, picnik can make facts appear any way they want them to.

As you've come to expect from reading News That Vexes and countless infomercials (see paragraph above), let me add, BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE - West Virginia still isn't sure about these results, so:

West Virginia, which ranks among the nation’s leaders in obesity, diabetes and hypertension, has sponsored its own study.

They're too smart to trust the Mayo Clinic.

2007-03-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

Mom's weight, fitness affects newborn's fatness

It says here that people with more body fat have children that have more body fat. Furthermore, mothers that walk slowly have children that walk slowly.

Now I haven't done a study lately, but I have another thing they could check: if the mother has dark hair, will the child have dark hair? I have no idea!

What does 'heredity' mean? What is DNA? I like cake!

Thanks Dr. Cyrus Cooper at the University of Southampon! (send him mail to congratulate him). Maybe he'll win an award!

By the way, Dr. Cooper really has some clever ideas:

Along with not smoking, women should exercise regularly and maintain a healthy weight through a balanced diet before and during pregnancy, Cooper advised.

(presumably after the child is born, you can go all dunkin' donuts on life)

2007-02-19T10:45:00.000-08:00

Study: Locations motivate older walkers

After a 3 year study at the University of Washington, the results are finally in!

The benefits of walking and being active are well-known, especially for older people, but what kind of neighborhood gets seniors going? ... What matters, researchers found, are the destinations like restaurants, grocery stores and even bars that are within a half-mile of your home.

Yes, it seems that seniors will walk if there's someplace to walk to! WOW!! Thanks Professor Anne Vernez Moudon, professor of urban design and planning at the University of Washington. Click her name to send her her well-deserved congratulations. (though I wonder what she'll value more, the conclusion of her study or her mention here at News that Vexes?)

The study was published in the March issue of the American Journal of Public Health. Pick it up at newsstands now.

Next up: what about people younger than 65? Will they walk to nowhere? Check back in 3 more years!

2007-02-19T09:11:00.000-08:00

Are the editors here at News that Vexes really the only one vexed? A quick survey shows the answer is decisively NO!

Proposed tax hikes vex business sector
Rule changes vex Medicaid applicants
False fire calls vex fire department, borough

or perhaps most simply stated:

Prison Officers Vex

2007-01-03T21:10:00.000-08:00

Programmers to blame for hard-to-use software

I guess my only question is "who else could possibly be to blame?" I mean, the title even uses the phrase 'hard-to-use software'. Thanks Harvard professor David Platt, you are quite the brainiac.

2007-01-02T10:09:00.000-08:00

67 too old to give birth says Italian fertility doctor (who helped 63-yr old give birth)

I mean come on, 67 is just plain too old. 63, though? MEOW!!!

2007-01-02T09:31:00.000-08:00

Teens binge drink, government study finds

So basically when kids engage in an illegal activity, they tend to do it quickly and to excess (because it's illegal and presumably want to take as much advantage of the situation as possible). Who would have guessed it?

Also, and even more, uh, surprising is:

These binge drinkers -- who had five or more drinks in a row -- were more likely to have sex, fight, smoke or use drugs, the study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found.

Uh, YEAH! Shproing! Well I never woulda thought!

Many thanks to the pioneering, groundbreaking, vexing-news-making Jacqueline Miller of the CDC. Sadly I couldn't find her email (you'd think she'd be proud of this research, no?) so we can't send her mail congratulating her on her discoveries.

2006-12-12T11:10:00.000-08:00

Skating Rink at Hot Springs melts and closes

I couldn't believe this, but it seems the outdoor skating rink in Hot Springs Arkansas had to close because it wasn't cold enough to form ice. And people doubt global warming exists.

2006-12-12T10:56:00.000-08:00

Many workers would rather have time off than attend a holiday work party

Apparently people would rather get away from work and be paid than attend a work party with their boss and co-workers. You know - the people they spend every day with.

The surprising part is that this wasn't the result of a scientific study. The findings are the result of a 'survey' by a marketing research firm. No double-blind study, no placebos, just asking people a bunch of questions.

So quite simply - I don't believe it!

2006-11-19T18:32:00.000-08:00

Study: Girth adds to extra gasoline consumption

How very helpful this story is. At the top of the story they sum it all up:

Simply put, more weight in the car means lower gas mileage.

THANKS Dr. Sheldon Jacobson at the University of Illinois! Feel free to send him mail to thank him. Some silly naysayers in this article say:

Outside experts said that even if the calculation aren't exact, the study makes sense.

Oh yeah? Well why didn't you think of it then??

Back to the solid research:

"If you put more weight into your car, you're going to get fewer miles per gallon," Emory University health care analyst Kenneth Thorpe said Wednesday.

Send wise Dr. Thorpe mail too! Thanks doc!

Excuse me, but my McRib and supersize fries are up, so I have to go.

2006-11-16T13:38:00.000-08:00

From the "Sorry to Burst your Bubble" file, it seems that James Bond movies are actually fictional to some extent.

Working for Britain's real MI6 spy agency is not quite like being James Bond, ... two agents said in a rare radio interview.

I'm withdrawing my MI6 job application.

2006-08-04T08:10:00.000-07:00

Blood pressure rises in stressed-out workers

Sure, this story is annoying, obvious and redundant. So we'll be brief.

New study findings confirm what some office managers, senior management officials and other white-collar workers have suspected for years: working in highly stressful jobs can increase your blood pressure.

"These results suggest that primary interventions aimed at reducing job strain may have significant effects on blood pressure," Dr. Chantal Guimont, of Laval University, in Quebec City, Quebec, and her colleagues write in this month's American Journal of Public Health.

In this blog we've used the words "DUH!" and "Uh YEAH" and "NO KIDDING!" so many times that our a,d,e,g,h,i,k,n,o,u and y keys are wearing out. So we'll leave this shocking news as it is.

2006-07-21T11:57:00.000-07:00

Drinking Can be Dangerous

What? Are you saying drinkers are at greater risk of being injured? Yes? You are?

YES! They are!

People who drink alcohol are up to four times more likely than non-drinkers to be hurt from physical injuries such as a fall or punch, new research shows.

This new research is from Kerrianne Watt at the University of Queensland. Thanks! Feel free to click her name to send her an email thanking her.

Dr. Watt does mention that these results "might seem obvious", but that "previous studies had not taken into account other possible explanations for injury such as drug use and risk-taking behaviour. "

She's got us there! Plus she brings up some promising avenues for further research - what if I'm drunk AND on heroin? Is there a chance I could get injured?

I found this bit amusing as well:

The most common injuries were falls, being hit by or against something and car and motorbike crashes.

Don't you hate being hit against something? (fridge, floor, steering wheel, someone's fist)

2006-06-06T16:14:00.000-07:00

The "5-Second Rule" Rules

A reader of News that Vexes submitted this story to us. A close reading shows it's close to a perfect N.t.V. story.

Basically:

Researchers at the University of Illinois say the so-called "5-Second Rule" isn't a myth. They say when you drop food on the floor, it's still safe to eat if you pick it up within five seconds.

Scientists "tested" this stupidity?

There's a great line:

Sticky food though, will pick up bacteria faster than dry food.

and my favorite:

Food Science Professor Peter Blaschek said, "I think all bets are off when you're talking about something like carpeting. That's an entirely different story and we haven't done that study yet."

HELLO? Government Grant writers - Are you listening? We're so close to completing this research! Just a few hundred thousand more dollars could provide us the answers!

Something tells me the University of Illinois is the ultimate party school. What's next? "The tequila before or after the beer?" "Optimal camouflage of water-cooled tobacco pipes"

Finally, since I'm sure you were wondering:

By the way, if you try getting rid of germs on your food by blowing on it or dusting it off, you're wasting your time. It doesn't work.

2006-06-06T16:09:00.000-07:00

Study Says Millions Have 'Rage' Disorder

I simply cannot believe they printed this. This makes me SO DAMN MAD! I COULD JUST ...!!

2006-05-27T19:44:00.000-07:00

Health Tip: Remember to Take Your Medications

Great tip! Thanks Doc! How much do I owe you?

2006-05-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

Japan's diet said healthier than American

Japanese Scientists deliver a stunner today -

a low-fat diet is much healthier than the average American menu and contributes to a longer life.

You must be kidding! It can't be so! It defies all logic!

Well, don't give up hope yet (but do put down the pork rinds perhaps).

A team of researchers at Japan's respected Tohoku University made the findings during a three-week study involving mice, according to one researcher, who requested anonymity due to policy.

Yes, you read it - it's only true for MICE! Not only that, the researcher remains anonymous, due to their policy of not naming people who say inane obvious things. I also love that the study lasted a whole 3 weeks. There's nothing like claiming things lengthen your life after studying them for 21 days or so. One last thing, they can't just say "Tohoku University" they have to say "respected Tohoku University." This is to prevent you from confusing it with "sleazeball diploma-mill Tohoku University."

The hilarious details:

A nutritionist created two menus comprising 21 typical foods from the United States and Japan, according to reports of the study seen by The Associated Press.
Each meal, freeze dried and mixed into powder, was given to eight mice for a period of three weeks, the reports showed.
The American menu included hamburgers and fried chicken, while the Japanese menu included sashimi, or raw fish, and rice porridge.

2006-05-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

Blood pressure in teens predicts hypertension

Another shocker! If you are 'pre-hypertensive' as a teen, there's a good chance you'll have hypertension as an adult. Hmmm. It seems to me that's what pre-hypertensive means!

or to put it in their exact words,

Adolescents with blood pressure in the pre-hypertension range are at increased risk for developing full-blown hypertension within two years, according to a new report.

Or perhaps my favorite part (I emphasize):

"The findings indicate that children with high blood pressure readings are at increased risk for hypertension," Falkner emphasized.

Thanks Bonita Falkner, professor of Medicine and Pediatrics at Jefferson Medical College of Thomas Jefferson University.

2006-04-27T15:03:00.000-07:00

At-risk drinking risky for older men

What you talkin' about, Doctor? Well, it seems that

Elderly men who engage in "at-risk" drinking have higher mortality rates than those who abstain or drink safer amounts of alcohol, a report indicates.

The authors define at-risk drinking as excessive drinking or the "use of alcohol in amounts deemed risky in the presence of relevant comorbidities."

So get a pen or pencil and jot this down: according to this new study by Dr. Allison A. Moore at UCLA, (send her mail to thank her): at-risk drinking is risky.

2006-03-29T19:10:00.000-08:00

High caffeine levels found in energy drinks

Energy drinks that promise to boost performance and rev up metabolism can contain three to four times as much caffeine as a typical soda, a new study shows.

Well, yes, and that's why people buy these drinks.

So it's not surprising that energy drinks would contain large amounts of caffeine, said study co-author Dr. Bruce A. Goldberger of the University of Florida College of Medicine in Gainesville.

Right on, Dr. Goldberger! It's not surprising! (why are you publishing this study then?)

But the actual caffeine dose might surprise some consumers, he told Reuters Health.

Say, Doc, do you ever read the labels on these drinks? They say: "Cautions: Contains caffeine. Not recommended for children, pregnant or breast-feeding women, caffeine sensitive persons or to be mixed with alcohol. Do not consume more than 500 ml per day."

And lastly Dr. Goldberger notes:

"We believe that these products should be labeled," Goldberger said, noting that in Europe, drinks with more than 150 milligrams (mg) of caffeine per liter must be marked as "high-caffeine."

Not only do I agree with him, but I bet the energy drink companies would too: "Buy this product! Look how much caffeine it has!" So, basically everone's in agreement and this whole study is pointless.

2006-03-21T10:27:00.000-08:00

Smokers often die prematurely: study

In the words of our Washington State Motto: "SayWA?!"

Cigarette smoking strongly increases the risk of dying in middle age for both men and women. "Our study shows that smoking strongly reduces the chances of surviving from 40 to 70 years of age," write Dr. Stein Emil Volsett [sic - his name is actually Vollset!] of the University of Bergen and colleagues. There is a clear dose-response relationship between smoking and mortality -- survival decreases with increasing number of cigarettes smoked per day, they note.

The study is published today in the Annals of Internal Medicine.

If this is true, the government should take some sort of action! This is outrageous! I demand they consider putting warning labels on cigarettes! Another revolutionary idea brought to you by News that Vexes.

2006-03-01T09:32:00.000-08:00

Guardian urges against return of caged kids

A court-appointed guardian for 11 children taken from the adoptive parents who kept some of them in cages testified yesterday that she has believed for months the youngsters shouldn't be returned to the couple.

Well hey, with 11 kids, it's hard to keep track of them all! Cages (with name labels) surely help. The parents said

the enclosures, rigged with alarms, were needed to protect the children from one another and to stop them from roaming the house at night ...

Well, cages will help that.

And on a happier note, since being removed from the cages, "Their whole demeanor has changed," Ms. Kern said. "They're energetic. They're brighter. They're crisper." (I'm glad she didn't say 'crispier'! I'm anti-cannibalism).

2006-02-28T08:09:00.000-08:00

Asthmatic kids may become asthmatics :

"Children who have airway hyper-responsiveness, a symptom of asthma, and allergic manifestations have an increased risk of developing asthma by the
time they become adults, according to Danish researchers."

Yes, you heard it! A child with asthma symptoms has an increased risk of having asthma symptoms as an adult. Shocker! Thanks Dr. Celeste Porsbjerg at the of Bispebjerg Hospital, Copenhagen!

2006-01-31T10:48:00.000-08:00

Before Taking Your Temperature Don't Eat Or Drink

Apparently if you eat hot or cold food before taking your temperature, the results may not be as accurate as possible!

Now you may say, "Hey that's obvious!" Indeed, even the press release for this breakthrough says (somewhat self-consciously...),

According to recent research by nurses at the University of Virginia Health System, your mother was always right when she told you not to eat or drink anything before taking your temperature.

And since basically in their own press release they start out saying "Uh oh, we're so busted. There's a good chance this will make News that Vexes!", they then attempt some spin control by trying to justify the research:

"It's something that comes up in our practice on a regular basis," said Tricia Jenkins, RN, a member of the research team. "Nurses take temperatures several times a day, every day, so the research proposition was really applicable."

Note it took a research team to come up with this conclusion.

I really must quote a bit more from the press release because it's just so rich:

As the first research examining the effects of beverage consumption on the accuracy of oral electronic thermometers, the nurses' findings were presented recently at the annual Academy of Medical Surgical Nurses Convention in Las Vegas. Previous research on the topic used only men as research subjects [testing only men leaves the door open for further study with women subjects! -ed.] and tested oral temperature with mercury-filled thermometers. "It's great to say we can make a change in practice," Quatrara said. "It's always best to provide patient care based on evidence rather than guessing at it."

Yay, no more guessing that hot water makes your mouth hot and ice cubes make your mouth cold! You may thank Beth Quatrara, RN, MSN, APRN for these revelations! I hope she enjoyed her free trip to Las Vegas to present this data!

2006-01-27T22:16:00.000-08:00

Patients may see scary lights during eye surgery

Hmmm. Could the scary lights be LASERS beaming into your eyeball? Actually the answer is 'no.' The real story is even better:

Patients who are awake while undergoing surgery on the gel-like vitreous inside the eye often report seeing frightening lights ... a new study shows. As a result, many patients say they would opt for general anesthesia the next time around.

Indeed, this new report indicates patients do not want to be awake while surgeons are operating on their eyeballs! Furthermore:

A frightening visual experience is clinically significant because "it may lead to side effects that could complicate the surgery, such as increased heart rate, high blood pressure, and fast breathing."

Huh? It almost sounds like seeing a scalpel cutting into your eyeball could make you nervous!

And last and most audacious of all:

"A frightening visual experience is also likely to decrease patients' satisfaction with the surgery."

This amazing research brought to us by Dr. Colin S. H. Tan of the Eye Institute at Tan Tock Seng Hospital in Singapore. Sadly I couldn't find his email to send him some congratulations on this research that was published in the American Journal of Ophthalmology.

2006-01-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

Cutting calories, portion sizes may really work:

Shockingly, if you eat less, you gain less weight. This may be old news to you, savvy reader of News That Vexes. Also, if you eat foods that are lower in fat, you will gain less weight. BUT, did you know that if you eat less food and eat lower calorie foods, you will lose weight?

"women took in the fewest calories when they practiced both, the study found."

WOW! Plus this article is also chock-full of incredible facts like:

A pound of broccoli, for instance, has far fewer calories than a pound of chocolate.

Of course, all this research will have to be repeated, since only women were studied. We're still completely in the dark about men!

Thanks, Dr. Barbara J. Rolls from Penn State!

2006-01-10T20:27:00.000-08:00

Two bits of distressing news - news that vexes in fact:

Got a cough? Doctors say over-the-counter syrup doesn't work

The doctors at the American College of Chest Physicians:

"Cough syrups may suppress a cough a little bit. But they don't treat the underlying cause," said Dr. Michael Alberts, a Tampa pulmonologist who is president of the physician group. "They won't make you better any faster."Another option that some doctors recommend: Just tough it out, because colds typically go away on their own.

Are you for real Dr. Alberts (whose email I couldn't track down so I'm asking rhetorically)?? It's not called "Cold Curing Syrup", it's called Cough Syrup. Even Dr. Alberts admits it works to suppress a cough and hey, that's why I took it in the first place. Whatever you do, don't take my Nyquil away!

Next up:

Prostate cancer test may leave men even worse off

Oh man, this doesn't help. It seems that neither the PSA test nor the DRE reduce prostate cancer deaths:

A study in the US suggests that the prostate specific antigen (PSA) test, when used to screen healthy men with no symptoms of the disease, does not reduce deaths.

A positive result often causes anxiety and leads men to have a painful biopsy. If this, too, proves positive they may have a prostate operation that can leave them impotent and incontinent — without ever being sure that they needed it.

Doctors should stop worrying about cough syrup and start concentrating on cancer! Prostate cancer is the most common cancer among men.

2005-12-24T12:21:00.000-08:00

USATODAY.com - Bad med students, bad docs

Bad medical students turn out to be bad doctors!? Sweet Georgia Brown! Thanks Maxine Papadakis (papadakm@medsch.ucsf.edu) ! She's lead author on the study and the dean for student affairs at the University of California-San Francisco medical school. (AVOID AVOID!!)

What I like is that they then explain "why this is important" which translates to "why you should not be saying 'Well DUH!' "

The research is important because it will allow great accountability "to the patients we serve," says James Thompson, president and CEO of the Federation of State Medical Boards.

"Thompson, the former dean of Wake Forest University School of Medicine in Winston-Salem, N.C., says medical educators have always known intuitively that there was a connection between unprofessional behavior in medical school and later problems. But Papadakis' work 'adds science at a time when we're demanding an evidence base for our judgments,' Thompson says."

2005-12-12T13:38:00.000-08:00

Katrina Leaves Widespread Depression in Her Wake:

Well it's certainly sad to say "those who suffered the wrath of Hurricane Katrina didn't just lose their homes, they lost their families, their neighborhoods, their communities." But come on! Do we need a study to find out that many of these survivors are "depressed" !!?

This brilliance brought to us by Dr. Mindy Fullilove. With losses comes grief, sometimes "spectacularly high levels," Fullilove said. Shocking!

Here's an idea: How about if all these doctors and scientists who think people just might become depressed when everything they know and own is washed away drop their studies and join the Red Cross to try to improve the situation in New Orleans? Rebuilding damaged levees and homes adds more value than these vacuous studies.

2005-12-12T10:40:00.000-08:00

Smoking lowers chances of surviving throat cancer: "For people with cancer of the larynx or lower pharynx, continuing to smoke or drink alcohol make it less likely that they'll survive."

This is just so crazy it might just be correct. Though of course if a smoker who has throat cancer continues to smoke, there is really only one thing that will make him stop: yes, cold hot death. (but this is fodder for another study so don't take our word for it on this - we're not published scientists - but we are scientists! who else could come up with the concept of cold hot death? )

This flagrant obviousity is provided by Rajesh Dikshit, a visiting researcher working for the International Agency for Research on Cancer in Lyon, France, who is making his email address less than public - probably for good reason.

2005-12-12T10:30:00.000-08:00

High gas prices alter driving habits: "Americans are fighting high pump prices by combining a trip to the grocery store with business at the bank or taking a bus to work."

Though we here at News that Vexes love to provide the email addresses of the brave pioneers who discover these amazing nuggets - so you can email your congratulations and thanks to them - this report is from USA TODAY analysis of Federal Highway Administration data.

Could it be we'll all buy less of stuff that costs more? Hey Scientists! HELP!!! We need answers!

2005-12-03T17:27:00.000-08:00

Marijuana Use Raises Risk for Vehicular Crashes: "The more joints that drivers smoke before hitting the road, the more likely that they'll be involved in a fatal crash they caused, researchers here reported. "

So, are you saying the more high as a kite you are, the more likely you'll be in a fatal crash? WOW!

Thanks Bernard Laumon of the French National Institute for Transport and Safety Research!

2005-11-14T19:44:00.000-08:00

Exercise to get fit, live longer: study

I love this.

"Our study suggests that following an active lifestyle is an effective way to achieve healthy aging," Dr. Oscar H. Franco, from Erasmus MC University Medical Center Rotterdam in the Netherlands, and his colleagues conclude.

One particularly rich thing is that it's not just Dr. Franco, but also his colleagues must also be mentioned - lots of people want credit for this shocking finding! Send Dr. Franco mail if you want to congratulate him: o.francoduran@erasmusmc.nl

2005-11-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

Kids Doing Poorly in School May Be Sleep: "Kids Doing Poorly in School May Be Sleep"

This is silly on many levels, perhaps best because of its title, which I swear I did not edit.

Apparently Brown Medical School psychologist Gahan Fallone conducted this groundbreaking study. Among his conclusions:
- Sleepy youngsters have difficulty paying attention!
- Teachers can tell when students are sleepy! (Go Teachers!)
- There is an impact on students' performance if they come to school tired!

Oddly, Fallone isn't at Brown anymore; now he works at the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology. Draw your own conclusions...

2005-11-09T10:20:00.000-08:00

Study Says There Is More Sex on TV

Gee - where's the NEWS in this? or is this news for people who have just started watching TV again after a 50-year absence?

Thanks Kaiser Family Foundation! (Includes recommendations! - I mean, 'warnings' - about specific shows)

2005-06-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

Cellphones take up driver attention, study finds - Yahoo! News: "Using a cellphone -- even with a hands-free device -- may distract drivers because the brain cannot handle both tasks, U.S. researchers said on Tuesday. "

Oh Sweet Mama! I had no idea! Thanks Steven Yantis, professor in the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Johns Hopkins University! Send Steven Yantis Mail to thank him! yantis@jhu.edu

2005-06-21T16:21:00.000-07:00

Combination of diabetes, depression ups death risk - Yahoo! News: "Diabetes is well known to increase the risk of heart disease, stroke and other ills, and a number of studies have linked depression to a heightened risk of death from any cause. What has been unclear is whether the combination of the two illnesses may be deadlier than either alone."

Yes, having a serious physical problem and a serious mental problem can increase your risk of death! This study brought to us by Dr. Leonard E. Egede, an assistant professor of medicine at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston.

I must have been out when he called, otherwise I could have told him that.

2005-04-20T17:01:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! News - Diabetes Diagnosis in Child Traumatic for Parents: "Many parents struggle emotionally with the news that a child has diabetes"

The article goes on to say "most parents are very shocked by the fact that changes have to be made to their child's life straight away." The article doesn't mention whether these parents in question are actual morons or whether non-news is now, in fact, news.

Today's news that vexes is brought to us by Dr. Lesley Lowes of Cardiff University. Send Dr. Lowes mail ! Lowes@cardiff.ac.uk

One last shocker: "Parents also worry about the long-term effects the disease may have, she added. "

What will scientists enlighten us with next?

2005-03-11T09:31:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! News - Study Participants Want to Know the Results: "People who participate in clinical studies are interested in how the trials turn out, results of a small pilot study suggest. "

WOW! It goes on to say (hold on to your hat):

Partridge [lead author of the study], at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston, and colleagues offered to tell patients who had participated in a study of surgery for early breast cancer about the outcomes. Out of 135 participants, 117 wanted to learn the results.

Can you imagine taking part in a cancer study (filling out all the extra paperwork, having experimental treatment etc.) and then NOT wanting to know the results? Perhaps the 18 participants who 'did not want to learn the results' had actually passed on to a better place - perhaps a place where people running studies aren't idiots.

2005-02-10T07:50:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! News - Parkinson's Disease Can Impair Driving: "The major effects include tremor, muscle rigidity, slowed movement and problems with balance and coordination. "

This non-rocket-science brought to you by: researcher Dr. Joanne M. Wood of Queensland University of Technology, who report the findings in the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry.

2005-02-08T17:47:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! News - Sweet Drinks Help Some Preschoolers Pack on Pounds: "Based on the current study, parents who are concerned about their preschoolers' weight would do well to 'limit the consumption of sweet drinks to less than one per day,' " the scientists said.

It actually goes on to recommend something called 'water' for a thirsty child. WOW!

2005-02-02T10:25:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! News - Age, Frailty, Parkinson's Complicate Pope's Health: "He is expected to remain in hospital for a few more days.
'It is (due) to a combination of his age, his general frailty and the quite severe Parkinson's that he has,' said Duncan Forsyth, a geriatrician and Parkinson's expert at Addenbrooke's Hospital in Cambridge, England. "

Being 84, frail and having severe Parkinson's can 'complicate' your health. Thanks Doc!

2005-01-25T14:06:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! News - Obese Moms Often Make Obese Kids, Study Finds: "The children of overweight mothers are 15 times more likely to be obese by age 6 than children of lean mothers, U.S. researchers reported on Tuesday"

It took a team of researchers from at least two prestigious institutions and who knows how many years of study to come up with this result!

2004-12-19T16:15:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! News - Many Smokers Still Confused About Health Risks: "One-third agreed with the statement, 'Cigarettes still have not been proven to cause cancer.' "

This story seems silly. Of course they're confused about the health risks, otherwise they wouldn't smoke. Or have I been smoking something?

It just seems like non-news.

2004-12-19T16:09:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! News - False-Positive Cancer Screening Results Costly:

"Screening for cancer quite often produces a false-positive result, and this can lead to costly -- and ultimately unnecessary -- follow-up testing, according to a new report."

Hmm, where to begin with this story? I mean come on, a false-positive can lead to unnecessary follow-up testing? Uh, that's like the definition of false-positive....

Another rich bit: individuals with false-positive results had significantly higher medical expenditures than those without such results, the researchers note. "the researchers note". I wish they had qualified the word 'researchers' with "rocket-scientist" or "brainiac".

I guess what bugs me the most is the lack of regard for the mental well being of the patient who's just been [falsely] diagnosed with cancer! No, instead the researchers find that it's costly!

2004-12-15T21:18:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! News - Ukraine's Yushchenko Regrets Effects of Poison

As usual, I appreciate it when headline writers are so very concise I have no need to actually read the article. Like this story about Ukrainian candidate Yushchenko - who was fed some poisoned cream soup - He regrets the effects of the poison. I'd vote for this guy, he seems completely rational.

Now you may say, "hey, what about his odd looking face which is all bloated and discolored from the poison - I can't vote for this guy." Well from the article we learn, "I have apologized dozens of times for my face. Please believe me that more than anyone else I would like it to be the way it was three months ago. Time is needed for that," he told a news conference. THIS GUY IS JUST LIKE ME! I TOO WOULD LOVE TO NOT HAVE BEEN POISONED AND HAVE A BLOATED FACE!!!

2004-12-02T13:34:00.000-08:00

Friday the 13th Not Bad Omen for Drivers

Now here is some science for you!

There are a lot of rich quotes in this gem of a story including this one:

Furthermore, "we don't have any evidence" to suggest that women may be at higher risk of traffic accidents on Friday the 13th than men, he added.

(One bit of minutiae: I like how the sentence starts with 'Furthermore' and ends with 'he added'. This reporter must be getting paid by the word.)

and better - since this is a scientist after all:

Since the previous study on traffic deaths based its findings on a relatively small number of people, "it is indeed possible" that the result is due to chance alone, Summala said.

2004-10-09T19:26:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! News - Experts: Good Hygiene Can Ward Off Flu

'"Taking care of yourself from a health standpoint is probably the best thing you can do," said Dr. R. Michael Gallagher, a family physician and dean of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey's School of Osteopathic Medicine. '

AIIIEEEEEEEE! I'm going mad I tell you. MAD. And that's not healthy.

2004-10-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! News - 'Weekend Warriors' Better Off Than Couch Potatoes

Oh sweet mama. "Physical activity is good for health -- anything is better than none," study author Dr. I-Min Lee of Harvard University in Boston, told Reuters.

Has the Nobel Prize for medicine been given out yet?

2004-09-16T10:14:00.000-07:00

Exercise, Diet Cut Diabetes Risk in Sedentary Men

From this breakthrough story we learn:

Vigorous exercise reduces the risk of diabetes among overweight, sedentary men, study findings suggest. And if these men reduce the amount of calories they consume each day, their diabetes risk drops even further.

WOW!!!

What I love even more is that these results only apply to men - we need to launch another huge study to see if it's possible these results apply to women. WHO KNOWS? IT'S A HUGE MYSTERY!

2004-09-01T12:26:00.000-07:00

Increase Gym Time to Combat Obesity in Girls: Study

"A new report suggests a simple strategy for combating obesity among young girls
-- increasing their gym time. "

According to this groundbreaking new study - increasing exercise can cut down on obesity.
This part is particularly rich:

"Our study shows that there may be benefits to overweight girls from increased PE instruction in school," she said. "Therefore, schools and educators should give PE programs another chance."

2004-05-28T22:22:00.000-07:00

Eat Less Harmful Fat, More Veggies - Diet Panel

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Americans, often guilty of overeating, should cut harmful fats, get more exercise and watch their weight under a new set of U.S. government dietary guidelines being written by nutrition experts.

Hmm, we should eat less harmful fat? WOW! I'm glad this new study cleared that up!

2004-05-04T17:54:00.000-07:00

So there's this story on the Brown Family (the "Five Browns" is how they're being marketed). They're a nice family of 5 kids who all go or went to Juilliard for piano.

A few things vex me. First here's some hype from the record company: Gilbert Hetherwick, vice president and general manger of BMG Classics, called their repertory "real, honest classical music without any frills." Yeah, right, just real honest pieces arranged for FIVE PIANOS.

Then the other spin of the article is how they're Mormon (who cares?). Well they're very proud of their Mormon-ism. So it seems Nineteen-year-old Mormon men are generally expected to leave on two-year proselytizing missions. ... Gregory went through a period of tortured reasoning before deciding that he would leave for his mission this summer. ... Then the BMG offer came through! Hurray, well in this one case we can make an exception! Since you'll be making lots of fresh money, you can still tour and spread the good word of Mormonism.

How nice that rigid religious beliefs can be set aside when large sums of money are involved.

2003-11-29T08:26:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! News - Blood Pressure Lowering May Boost Life Expectancy: "Blood Pressure Lowering May Boost Life Expectancy"

High blood pressure (strokes, heart disease) BAD. Good health GOOD. Thanks for the clarification!

2003-10-28T19:32:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! News - California Wildfires Pose Serious Health Risks: "California Wildfires Pose Serious Health Risks"

Well I think that headline says it all.

2003-10-06T19:19:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! News - On-Site CPR Critical for Cardiac Arrest Victims: "Victims who survive after their heart has stopped beating have a better quality of life if they received cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) at the time of the cardiac arrest from a bystander, new research shows. "

WOW! Great New research!

2003-10-06T13:51:00.000-07:00

CNN.com - Amish seek mechanical help in Isabel's wake - Oct. 4, 2003:

"The Amish typically shun large machinery, believing that traditional farm methods foster interdependence and keep the outside world at bay. "

"It's not really breaking any of their rules, it's really adjusting their rules in a particular emergency."

How nice that religions can break their own rules when they want to.

2003-10-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! News - Home-Heating Bills May Rise in Winter:
"an industry trade group is warning consumers not to be surprised if home-heating bills are higher this winter." Heating Bills may rise this winter??!?

2003-09-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

So if your PSA goes up rapidly even after cancer treatment, you're at 'increased risk of death.'

Yahoo! News - Test Predicts Death After Prostate Cancer Therapy: "The prostate specific antigen, or PSA, is a commonly measured blood marker in men with prostate cancer. In the new study, patients who had been treated for prostate cancer were at increased risk for death if it took less than three months for the PSA level to double. "